Sunday, February 20, 2011

40th Birthday Self-Portrait 2-13-11




12" x 9", oil on panel

I'm not minding turning forty but it does feel different. At mid-life there comes a deeper looking at where one has been and where one would like to go. I'm feeling positively - that I've done alright and it will be alright. Appearing both strong and vulnerable, the gaze is penetrating as an artist's eye sees differently. Dots float in the background, incorporated into the figure in the eyes and round piece of white on the tip of the nose. The purple strap of my painting apron is painted asymmetrically, visually picked up by the delineation of the neck. I think I seem relaxed yet organized, structured. I've been wearing my hair in a way that is less controlled than when it was straight, going with the naturally wavy. It's looseness contrasts with the angularity in the picture. The oval cut black shirt mirrors the shape of the hair. Light comes from the right (I'm afraid this jpeg might appear overexposed but haven't been able to correct it). I might like to do this for every birthday. Paintings are made in time but this seems to accentuate the fact. It was very hard to paint, not because representation is difficult but because one has to wrestle with one's image until it feels right. The artist has to literally face herself, come to terms. There is nothing to do but move forwards.

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