Christoph and Nicole

oil on panel, 21" x 25" and charcoal on paper, 18" x 24"

Here is another self-portrait, this time a painting and a drawing with my husband. The painting came first. It owes something to Charlotte Salomon (see links). The painting has the figures fused with a mountainous landscape while the drawing gives little reference for place.

In the drawing, I imposed the interlocking rings I have been using in other paintings over our heads, here reminders of wedding rings and marriage. Our son has been studying venn diagrams at school and I noticed that my image is one of sorts. "A venn diagram is a diagram used to divide up two or more objects to view similarities and differences. " - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venn_diagram It is unlike Picasso's Girl Before a Mirror at the MOMA (a painting with lots of rings) in that there are two figures here and they retain their separate identities. http://blog.chosun.com/web_file/blog/438/5938/1/picasso-Girl-Before-a-Mirror_small.jpg While there isn't a mirror in the picture, the mutual gaze relates to the psychological idea of "mirroring."

In the drawing, we do not seem to be gazing exactly into each other's eyes. I think Christoph is looking a bit outward while I seem to look a bit inward. Perhaps we don't always see eye-to-eye, but we have enough common ground to make a solid unit and to complement one another.

Self-Portrait Jazzercising

I am doing a double post this week. Let me be the first to say that I know Self-Portrait Jazzercising is silly (and yes, I know the turquoise belly-button ring is the center of the picture). While working on the Mass Grave Series, I decided to take my friend's advice and take a break from the news for the day. She recommended months, but I wouldn't like that. A friend of the friend saw my work and said, "Someone should give her a drink." I think exercise works better. You can drown your troubles in a drink and still feel crummy and might have worse problems later. It's hard to feel bad when you are with a bunch of girlfriends dancing and sweating.

Here's the other thing: fun and silliness are as much a part of life as tragedy. Perhaps I should keep it out of my work, lest no one take me seriously, but I don't have anything to lose and I wanted to see if I could paint something care-free. It is important to acknowledge and address the sorrows happening in the world, but to giving up one's own happiness is just another death. Writer Etty Hillesum tossed a paper out to the street as she and others were carted away to be murdered at Auschwitz. It said, "We left the camp singing." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etty_Hillesum

Mass Grave III

Mass Grave III, oil on panel, 24" x 24"
I would like to make something more cheery, joie de vie, but right now the news doesn't let me go. Hearing about the Amish girls kept me more in this frame of mind, continuing with the series. As mentioned in earlier posts, the rings symbolize individuals. The gold reminds one of halos, wedding rings, vows, eternity, and preciousness.
The burial mound in this one is massive, looming, blocking out everything else except a violet sky and strip of white cloud. That cloud is a sliver of hope and seems to have a dialogue, gleaming, bouncing one's eye back and forth between itself and the yellow circles. The cloud is slender, yet seems omnipresent. It is a cut in the world, an opening to a different reality. It is blank, offering no explanations, but full with light, not empty. It does not need to resist the blackness below because it is separate from it. It is only there with the black because of the rings.

Tug of War (Letting Go)

22" x 24", oil on canvas, 2006. Thanks to Rob S. for his post regarding Tug of War (Mass Grave II). It gave me the idea for this one. I liked his response that one can always let go. Sometimes the struggle, competition, and desire for the goal are so intense that letting go does not even cross one's mind as an option. This goes beyond the game, of course, and can apply to many things aside from war. That is what is great about art; a specific concept can reveal itself to be a common thread to diverse areas in life.

The hands in the picture seem to express a shock of realization, as if they are surprised to be letting go of the rope. They have a relationship with the figures, whose "v" shaped legs reflect the fingers. There is something here about being an individual and belonging to a group. The three figures are on the same team, but at a distance, their individuality is diminished. The hands are a pair to just one person, but the fingers are actors here, in rows, parts belonging to a whole. They are also all made out of red lines, like the umbilical cord rope; blood is at stake while the same human blood runs through all.

The visual syntax is distilled; the end of the rope looks like a thumbnail, color is reduced, description is secondary to the action. The hands also seem like wings, almost forming the shape hands make for a bird shadow puppet. Letting go is freeing.

Tug of War (Mass Grave II)

Tug of War (Mass Grave II)
oil on panel, 30" x 24", 2006.

The game, tug-of-war, seems to be a good metaphor for the real thing, as well as other kinds of power struggles. In this painting, one hand is clenched tightly around a rope while the other has a relaxed grip. This dichotomy reflects the complex feelings surrounding the Iraq War, with many wanting to hold on until the country is stable, while others see the United States' and Britain's continued presence as creating more hatred for the West.
The interlocking rings, symbolizing interconnected souls (think of the term, "close-knit"), are gold this time to show that people are precious. It also gives a kind of Egyptian splendour to this burial that treats people like trash in a landfill.
In and out of war, the rope can be the thing that is so hard to let go of, whether it is a bad habit or a conviction. In the picture, we don't know where it leads, who or what is on the other end. What compels us to bury what is most important? Perhaps it is the uncertainty in life and particular situations that makes the risk or the sacrifice seem worth it at the time. We lose perspective or just can't find answers or the truth. Madmen and tyrants have their own rationals. For Star Wars fans, Annakin's fear of losing Padme was the germination of Darth Vader. We try to hold on to what is most dear and sometimes lose the very thing we are trying to save.

Mass Grave

Mass Grave, oil on panel, 24" x 20."

A circle is a symbol of the self, a person. Thus, the multi-colored circles at the bottom of the picture symbolize the people burried. As atrocities are committed against many peoples (Rwandans, the people of Dafur, Bosnians, Jews, Kurds, Armenians, Palestinians, Native Americans, Africans and many more), the circles do not depict one race. Instead, the rings interlock like a chain or pattern sometimes used in connection with weddings. The barbed wire at the top of the picture also connects, representing torture and a continuous chain of evil. The flower that grows from the grave opposes the barbed wire. It symbolizes fecundity, life, passion and defiant beauty.